Thousands of Guyanese to Relinquish their Foreign Visas and Citizenship in the Oil producing Nation of Guyana

(3 min read)

Note: If you don’t know what Satire is then read the Disclaimer below first or proceed to Google

On the sparsely populated island of Guyana with less than 750,000 people, Guyanese at home and abroad are rallying to prove their patriotic worth. The news is out, relatives of thousands of Guyanese will be returning home in the new week. Persons who haven’t seen their relatives in years will finally have the chance to be reunited with them. These people are not coming back because they were deported but because they choose to protest the recent actions of the various international powers.

On the 15th of July 2020, the visas of top officials on the island were revoked because of claims they were trying to undermine democracy. The protesters are claiming that the actions are uncalled for since the elections are not over yet even after 4 months. In response to this, some Guyanese are standing with their leaders against foreign interference in the affairs of a democratic and sovereign country. Sources also say Guinness World Record is considering giving the country an award for longest elections in the world.

In the coming days, thousands of Guyanese will be assembling in front of the various international embassies in and out of the country to relinquish their visas and foreign citizenship. All in an effort to return to the country they love so dearly. This is to boycott CARICOM, OAS, the EU (over one hundred countries) for speaking out about the delay in concluding the country’s March 2nd General and Regional Elections.

According to some of the Guyanese who are waiting anxiously to come home, it would be hypocritical for them to continue living in a country that they are denouncing. These backbone workers hope that their return home can also help in the development of Guyana through the oil industry like they did with the foreign countries. Guyanese at home said they no longer want to travel internationally, their hard earned money will be invested in the local tourism industry. Their hope is to stifle the economy of these countries that depend solely on Guyanese tourists. They said their Guyanese brothers and sisters abroad who might be skeptical should not be afraid to come home. You will be welcomed home with open arms to the Oil Producing Nation of Guyana.

They also stated that they will be observing all COVID-19 precautions when they assemble since the country has recorded over 200 cases of the virus to date.

If you would like to know some simple steps to further boycott these countries click here  or wondering why your family and friends are acting strangely click here.

Ravin Clean

Disclaimer

Satire is the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

The views expressed by this author are solely their own and does not reflect the position of any organization they represent or may be associated with. The aim to provide commentary on the current political situation in Guyana using satire.

As an aspiring want to be satirist, I hoped you enjoyed!

Education is the leading cause of Dementia -Read more to find out if you’re at Risk.

(3 min read)

Note: If you do not know what Satire is then read the Disclaimer below first or proceed to Goggle   

Hi it’s me your subconscious back at it again trying to figure why you’re so dotish.

Do you feel mentally confused when someone states factual information? Or have you been in a situation whereby you are unable to fully understand the answer to a question? If yes? Then here may be a reason you  least expect .  A recent scientific study conducted in 2018 to 2020 on the island of Guyana, has lead researchers to some alarming findings.

A group of well-known scientists from the Western hemisphere led a team to Guyana to conduct what was supposed to be a simple baseline study to build a news learning facility. Their discovery left the researchers in a state of shock. The findings were so alarming that the report was classified for only a select few to avoid inciting public panic but credible inside sources have leaked the findings to this publication.

According to the report the study was conducted with a sample size of 100,000 Guyanese between the ages of 4 to 100 years old grouped by nursery, primary, secondary and tertiary to assess their educational status as it relates to a lost in brain function.

It was found that children at 4 to 6 years of age in the nursery levels were least likely to be affected by this phenomenon that causes a decrease in brain function. Their brains showed increased activity with a very high aptitude for learning.  At the primary and secondary level between the ages of 7 to 17 there was a rapid development of brain functions for speech and arithmetic functions but as this group seeks to further educate themselves various problems start to arise.

At the tertiary level is where brain functions start to decrease the most. It was found that persons who went on to be degree holders will have a decline in thinking ability in early stages of their adult life. The areas of the brain that are affected the most are those that deal with reasoning, language and mathematics. It was also found that if you attain more than one degree and actively engage in politics this decline will happen more rapidly. Some of the symptoms found were blind loyalty, a sense of wanting to feel ethically superior to another race, failure to comprehend basic factual information, always making a post in support of the political party of your choice.

It concluded by stating that this sickness has the ability spread rapidly among degree holders since 50% of persons in the study were already suffering from the sickness with another 25% starting to show symptoms.

If you or anyone you know are experiencing these symptoms, please seek urgent medical attention at the closest health facility. Do not be afraid there is help for you!

Ravin Clean


Disclaimer:

Satire is the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

The views expressed by this author are solely their own and does not reflect the position of any organization they represent or may be associated with. The aim is to provide commentary on the current political situation in Guyana using satire.

As an aspiring satirist I hoped you enjoyed!

CARIEXIT – A Guyanese Start to A Free And Sovereign Nation

3 min read

(Hi it’s me your subconscious trying to figure why you so dotish.)

 

As a true Guyanese patriot, we should not allow people who live outside of Guyana to be ridiculing the sovereignty of this Great Island. People whose only interest came into being on the glorious day we found oil. For foreigners who consider themselves “Guyanese”  but who are still holders of their foreign visas and citizenship – they should also not speak about Guyana since they are no longer citizens that live here, they no longer pay taxes nor do the decisions of the island’s leaders affect them in any way since they have abandoned their homeland.

In moving forward, we islanders should start preparing to be a solely self-sufficient nation. This is what our fore-parents fought for generations ago; for us to be a free & independent nation and for us to self-govern without foreign interference. In response to these countries’ interference, we the oil-producing nation of Guyana should start boycotting products and start supporting our industries. Two of the most common sectors we should start with are:

  1. The simplest start is boycotting the Educational system of the Caribbean Community. As thousands of our children are set to write CXC&CAPE we should keep our children home since writing these exams only further embed the teaching of these foreign lands. Guyana should start developing its teaching curriculum to cater to our needs since we do not have to depend on any country to be educated. To take it a step further, persons who already have certificates that allow them to gain employment in these 15 countries should discard them up since they would no longer be needed in the future. #CARIEXIT. The island’s educational system should cater to the people of Guyana. The University of the West Indies, as the name suggests is for West Indians; Guyana is not part of that and has its university. Guyana as a whole does not need to depend on these foreign bodies to be able to formally educate the minds of the future generation since this country has brilliant people.
  2. Secondly, we need to target the Import/Export market of the United States of America, Canada, and CARICOM. The island of Guyana is world renown for being the breadbasket of the Caribbean and Western hemispheres but this needs to stop. What is happening currently can only be attributed to the proverb of biting the hands that feed it. These countries heavily rely on Guyanese products for their daily survival such as the rice of the Essequibo to the sugar of the Corentyne. According to recent data, 50% of Guyana’s export goes to these countries (CAD 26%, USA 15%, CARICOM 10 %), products that we as Guyanese can use and utilize for ourselves instead of giving it away for little to nothing just so that these foreign counties can survive. Furthermore, we need to stop importing their products 78% of all imports come from these countries (USA 57%, CARICOM 21%) that continue to interfere in Guyana’s sovereignty. As such, we should invest this money into our local manufacturing and production facilities.

It is about time Guyana took a stance against these international bodies and not be bullied since we are the ones who are in control of our sovereignty. Long Live the Island of  Guyana, the land of the Free.

 

Ravin Clean

 

Disclaimer:

The views expressed by this author are solely their own and not the representation of any organization they represent or might be associated with.

The aim of this piece was to provide commentary on the current political situation in Guyana with the use of satire

Satire is the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

As I am an aspiring satirist, I hoped you enjoyed!